AGING PARENTS- PART 1

Let me first begin with gratitude to be in the position to have aging parents. I honestly don’t know if we are ever prepared to see our parents age - where the roles shift, and they need and depend on us ( their children) for assistance in their daily lives, business, and medical decisions.

At this point what I am learning is to give ourselves grace, as well to give our parents grace. I know for me I always saw my mother as super human. From her intellect, never ending energy, wit, no challenge was without a solution. Honestly, during my childhood I never saw her with health challenges.

The reality of this journey is that there can be health challenges. The first issue we face is when do you step in and be that supportive, second ear at their medical appointments. As well, as their decision maker.

My challenge was to never take my parents dignity nor to insult them with their home needs, or medical preferences. Basically it is a balancing act. You just need to meet the situation with Grace.

I am finding the real crux is to have that conversation on their desires and goals for their lives. When a parent is present and mentally capable you do need to have the conversation on where they want to live - short term and long term.

If their desires and goals are not plausible that is definitely where reasoning , patience , and grace enters the discussion. You never want them to feel that their desires and goals do not matter, but they have to be logical and reasonable. As well at the end of the day  your desires and needs can’t be overlooked.

I find my real challenge is facing the realization that this is my parent whom I viewed as superhuman. Now my parent is looking to me to step in and make certain decisions. Honestly, I don’t really think we are ever ready for this.

I do know that I am grateful to be in this position, and so humbled by this journey of life that we will all experience one day.

At this point my solution is to put on your big girl pants, sit with your parent, be respectful and gentle and have that talk. Remember to honor what you can of their wishes and desires. What you can’t discuss why and then move to a compromise if possible. At the end of the day you have to remember to take care of you and your needs first. So that you can be the best version of you for your parent.