The Power of Communication

Communication is defined by Julia Scherta de Valenzuela,Ph.D. as “Any act by which one person gives to or receives from another person information about that person’s needs, desires, perceptions, knowledge or affective states. Communication may be intentional or unintentional, may involve conventional or unconventional signals, may take linguistic or non-linguistic forms, and may occur through spoken or other modes”.

When you think about it most problems can be traced back to a mis-communication. So I thought to look at why this happens, and to explore how we can have positive communication in our personal and business relationships.

A good line of communication is essential to a healthy relationship; it allows us to tell our feelings, ideas, and perceptions to others.  As well it allows us to know and understand another person’s position on particular issues. So knowing what communication does for relationships one must wonder what causes an individual to choose to not communicate. Could it be that one equates communicating with a possible confrontation, or possibly the person is not aware that they are not discussing the problem and it is assumed that the other individual knows what they mean.

I have found that when we choose to tell another individual our position, perception, or views we should give the information the way that we would like to hear it. Never attack the person, but discuss the behavior or words said by the individual.  In that way it lessens the chance that the other person will feel attacked, and increases the chance for the communication to remain an open exchange.

From experience it is best to speak with honesty, directness, compassion, and with a degree of empathy for the other person. Remember you are discussing, sharing your perception of a given situation, it is important to understand that your objective is to not convince or persuade the other person.  The objective is to explain your idea, position, and point of view. The key in communicating is to respect the other person’s perception. You might not agree with them, but you will have an understanding of the other person’s perception of a situation.

One thing for sure when an individual is given the opportunity to communicate their feelings and they know they are heard; it gives the individual validation that they matter, and that they have a voice.