I’ve always loved North American Cups! Prior, I would love the travel and the large arena and just the energy that was associated with such a large competition. North American Cups were also where I got recruited for University. Fond memories of this competition.

Now, fast forward to my current more mature self and I look at the NAC competition with gratitude but also no longer with rose tinted glasses. I guess before it was youthful ignorance and I was truly in my own little world back. I try to be more observant now and aware of my surroundings. This competition I wish I had stayed in my little bubble world.

Equipment Check which I always try to do the day before probably should’ve been my foreshadowing clue of the competition would go. I was very fortunate to get the Convention Center Hotel 2 days before the competition! I thought that was a great omen. On the day of my check (which was a competing day) I was met with such glares and utter disdain. I’m not one for noticing but all those people acting like I’m an alien I did start rethinking using my YSL Muse Bag as my equipment duffel.

I pushed the glares aside and took in the electric energy of the convention center and waited in line. I was happy all my equipment passed and I got the nicest guy to check my equipment. I focused on that and walked back to my hotel. Now I felt good and was in my bubble and packed up for the next morning to compete.

I woke up nervous but ready for the competition. I put my favorite Shishiedo Blue Kajal eyeliner on used my Patrick Starr Secure the Sweat and felt good. I stretched and warmed up in my hotel room which I prefer so I don’t have to worry about finding someone to warm up with or be mean mugged earlier than necessary.

Pools! In BladeRunner I won a bout and got points every bout. I expected the same outcome but better since my confidence of regaining my old form was better than at BladeRunner. Now to say I got screwed in Pools would be an understatement. The referee I had would ONLY be fair and call the point mine while apologizing to my opponent is if I got one light. I would peree and he would call it “attack in preparation.” My old self would have thrown a fit or probably started crying at the unfairness for no reason this referee had on me. I’m older so I took it and analyzed and I said I don’t agree with your calls but ultimately nothing you can do.

One bout he refused to give me any point I lost 0-5! No matter that I blocked and then hit or if I attacked my opponent and almost pushed them off the strip he would still call it against me.

DE in almost a cruel joke I met the opponent again I lost in pools 0-5. Now in fencing you can guess that if you performed that way in pools after 20 minutes you will not do any better. If your lucky you will get 1 point and loose 1-15.

I had been talking to my brother during Pools and telling him about the messed up Ref. He simply said “too much power & they like who they like.” Blunt and to the point lol. When I found out I was fencing the girl I had lost to 0-5 in pools he said “Ok. just pray you don’t have the same referee and fence how you do and it’ll be okay.”

Now, I did not win my DE sadly and it was the preparation and attacking that killed me. My last article I had mentioned that my lack of confidence with it was my downfall. This time I would say it wasn’t my lack of confidence but dealing with the heckling of the Johns Hopkins coaches. It was such a shock to my system that besides full grown men glaring and laughing at me and stating “this would be such and easy bout” (based on the biased results in pools). It was the fact that other Des coaches are supposed to be quiet and only talk to their student. They are not supposed to heckle or say rude remarks but clearly it was just my lucky day. After my opponent got the first 3 touches and all the clapping and pointing and laughing. I thought to myself “I used to be the best so screw it. Let me fence how I fenced before and If I get attack in preparation so be it but I know I will shut these folks up.”

That’s what I did. My anger and not being able to tell the Johns Hopkins coaches brought me back to how I used to fence. I charged my opponent and made it so there was no question or doubt - 1 lights. After I got the 5th point her coaches shut up and gave the respect that they should’ve started off the bout with. She was ahead at the break and the referee (different than pools) told me my “attack in preparations” are why he didn’t call the last 3 attacks on me.

Okay, I figured that. The point I was most proud of was when I blocked her hit and hit her (like in pools) but the difference I got 1 light. I don’t know if it was sheer relief but somehow I fell AFTER I got the point but not in a scary way to hurt my knees. I literally fell to my knees like in a prayer pose and then just bounced back up ahahha. I lost the bout 9-15 but I can say I garnered the respect of those mean coaches. One of them came over and said “really good bout.” I shook his hand but couldn’t muster words to to say anything but nodded.

Even losing I’m very proud of how it went! I got 2 points higher than BladeRunner and initially it looked like the girl was going to smoke me! She won in pools and I got 0. I breathed and I got these points based on me. I didn’t have a coach nor did the coach from my club ever come over to see how I was doing. They were points I got aggressively and relied on my parrys. I thank my brother for calming me and my mom for forcing me to stay strong and not just break down crying at how mean and unnecessarily cruel to me.

I don’t like losing but maturity has taught me to take all the wins and be grateful and learn.



Even though I lost I feel like I won. I know I can. I can win and I can get back to what I was but improve because things change as we do hopefully. I now will prepare for the Grand Prix in Korea and World Cup in Peru in 2025

Until next time!