My Chat with Sobia was my dream come true, and it was beyond amazing. Sobia was kind, gracious and honest! I had to pinch myself once the interview was over! Enjoy!

How are you doing … I am doing just fine… look we are both wearing pink … yes, with green in the background.

I am so happy and grateful that we are doing this, this is literally full circle for me. I remember reading your interview with Refinery 29 when you had your handbag line (for people that are unaware). I thought then ‘wow she has her shit together…she has a loving family – and love being the most important, wonderful children, and you look well rested. Oh, I try. The schedule that you gave, I was like how does she do it. And I said ‘I am going to meet her one day’. Oh, I don’t even remember what I said…but I am so happy that you reached out.

It is my pleasure and my honor.

Also, before I forget you are also a UNICEF Board Member, and I really do not understand when you sleep. You know the funny thing in my family – my mother, grandmother, my sister, and hopefully my daughter doesn’t get it…but we have a hard time sleeping. I have tried Zanax. I am not going to lie, it was about six or seven years ago, and it was a complete disaster. I know how important sleep is, but somehow it works.

I know I have tried Valerian Root, to relax me, and quiet my mind. Because I am always thinking, and sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night, and write my thoughts and ideas down (so I won’t forget it) … Oh!!! I do that! … Yes! because I might forget it, and genius only strikes once. Yes, in the middle of the night.

Then I will try to go back to sleep, but then I start thinking how this work might. Then I am awake. Yes, I can totally identify with that.

I did forget to ask how was your trip to Pakistan? Oh, it was lovely. While I was there my followers and friends were writing to me; and I felt like I was a tour guide of sorts. Though I did not mean for it to be, but I wanted to show that side of Pakistan that is good; that you don’t often see. I felt on a subconscious level that I needed to educate people about Pakistan. Often you see the negative side of Pakistan. And I did show the good, as well the not so good. So, it turned into a travel vlog of sorts.

Although I have lived in Pakistan my entire life, I have been here for 25 years now. Well, you should put that on ‘Shaikhen and Stirred’ your blog. Yes, I a plan to. Although I have not written much lately on Shaikhen and Stirred, with doing more on Instagram and the Paid Partnerships…but I plan to make that a part of it. So that is something that is planned to be done.

How do you think your definition of balance has evolved, as you have evolved on your career path. I know you have said the reason you stopped your handbag line is because you did not like who you had become. The things that you loved like cooking, that you stated that you could not do anymore. So, how have you put your boundaries in and evolved…

You know that is a good question, and to be honest at the risk of sounding direct and blunt, and this is not directed at you, but in general at the balance question. I feel that the whole ‘balance question’ is so overused, and unfairly so towards women. That question is never asked of my husband for example, and how he balances his life. And he does a lot besides work, he is very involved with our two children; and he bar-b-que’s, cooks as well, probably more than I do now.

Yes, we do a lot of multitasking as women, and we take on a lot as women. I wish that the term, or the question would somehow evolve.

I do have a list of my own priorities; I don’t endorse them they work for me. And they are somewhat three-fold; first it is my husband, children, family, and my home; second- is my work, content creation; then my work with UNICEF. Then I am learning French. Now all those things I somewhat put under the work umbrella.

Number three is Health and Wellness…but what I would like to do since the pandemic (and I saw this), I would like to shift Health and Wellness to number two and switch my work to number three. I do need my Health and Wellness needs to be more prioritize.

I so agree… I work with my brother and when he does a lot of things people just say, ‘oh yes, that is cool’. Then with me they are like ‘oh wow and you are doing this’. My response is like yes. Oh, my goodness that is so true. I think the best thing that you said is what works for you, and that is what is an important point to differentiate between a Content Creator and an Influencer.

That is a good point. We show what works for us in essence, we recommend this to you (a product). Now it could very well not work for you, and we are simply saying find a product within this product line that works for you. Whereas an Influencer is saying – be me. That is a very good way of putting it. I would like to say that I do think now that the world is in the process of differentiating between the two. But there is still a long way to go, but I completely agree with you (on how the terms are defined).

**I thought that was the simplest way of explaining it. I am not telling people to do it this way, or to like this exact thing. As Content Creators we are going out, and if you may we do the bitch work**… Oh yes! … **We try everything, so for this problem we have tried thousands of different products. And we are then telling you that these ten are the top products.**

**We are saying my skin is not your skin, so within this line find what works the best for you.** Yes, because within Content Creating and showing products if we end up influencing someone then that is a bonus to me. It is not my aim to start with.
©SHAIKHENANDSTIRRED

Now we are going to discuss career paths, you started as a model as we saw in your stories from your recent trip to Pakistan; and yes, I was full blown watching every story that you posted. Then you created your handbag line, now you have your partnerships. I am sure you knew what you wanted your life to be, did you know what specifically you would choose to achieve that….

That is a very good question, you know at this time in my life I know that I was supposed to go through all these steps to get here. Did I plan it? Probably not. I did plan to go to art school in Pakistan, I did plan to work in marketing, I did not plan to model. I was asked when I was 17 years old, at that time I was in art school. A bit of background, I went back to Karachi to work for an advertising agency. I directed television commercials for six years.

I then moved to San Francisco, and I have been here for 25 years. I did briefly work for at an advertising agency. Then started a handbag line, it was called ‘Isly’; I started promoting it on Instagram. Then backed out (of my handbag line) and started my blog. From there the content creation and my love for Instagram just evolved.

And where I am today and the place that I have reached today is an amalgamation and has rolled into my content creation. I am so happy that I went through all these steps to arrive here.

However, I remember when I shut down my handbag line, Isly, I was so heartbroken, but I had to make that decision. I was just so unhappy, I was getting sick, and I was travelling a lot. Now with content creating I pick and choose my clients, and I have a lot of paid partnerships now. I really believe in what I promote, and I will not promote anything that I do not believe in; not use myself so why would I promote them. There are many that I have turned down. It is a bit of a juggling act, but I am happy now.

Let’s discuss the mental effects of Instagram and that perfect life on the young especially. You have a daughter but how do you show the realness, or should I say the non-perfections of life. Example, if you hit a roadblock how do you overcome it, and then how do you show it to your community…

©SHAIKHENANDSTIRRED

That is such an important thing that no one asks, and no one discusses. With content creating the best thing is the worst thing for me, in my mind. The best thing for me is waking up every day and thinking what I will post. Now I plan if of course. But it gets my creative juices flowing, however, it is very daunting at the same time.

People’s attention span is very short now, there are so many options available to people on different platforms. As well I want my content to come across as super genuine. Of course, it has to also look good, yet there are times that I see other content creators and I say, ‘oh crap should I be doing that’. And to be truthful, I have done that in the past; but I work with myself to not go down that rabbit hole.

I mean I do me and you do you, but it is not always easy…I look at it, but I go within. With my daughter, she is 18 years old, and will be going to college in the fall. And looking at everything on social media, and seeing how they should dress, who they should date, and even how their hair should look. I just keep the dialog open. We are all super close as a family, my daughter is super bright and we have an open space in our home where we discuss everything, I hope.

When you started Shaikhen and Stirred, and I love it and its beautiful. Do you think that your experience in the fashion industry helped when you started your blog…and then with your content creating and getting your firs client…

You know I think it did, yes and no. When I started my blog, my aim was to never have a business. I think it says that on my blog too. My aim (of my blog) was to talk about my life, travels, family, and the food that I like. But my aim was to never have a business, I said if it turns into that I would be so happy.

As well appearances like we talked about earlier really matters as well. Not saying that all pictures must be on a white background and roses, now there are some folks that do that and that is fine…I am not judging that.

Consistency of posting at the same time, responding back to your followers. It does take time, but if someone takes time to respond to a picture I have posted; I have the courtesy to respond to them. People then are interested because they see that I am sincere and loyal, and then they in turn are loyal to me.

I think what people don’t realize that it is a lot of work … yes!... 99% of the time I do not look like this. Typically, I am in sweats minimal make-up and my hair is up in a bun. That is because you are working, and it is hard. Yes, there are so many out there, but the key is finding who you are and finding your niche. Yes, this is so true…. Owning who you are in essence and making sure that you do not go down that rabbit hole.

Yes, this is true… so true, it is hard…and like you had said earlier my life looks glamorous. Well, yes, it is. I have worked hard to get here, and sometimes I do flaunt it, and I am not going to lie about it.

When we moved to the States, and I know my kids are going to say, ‘oh here we go again with this story’. But it is true we lived in a tiny apartment, we took the bus everywhere, and we did not have money to send clothes to dry cleaning. So, I washed my husbands’ shirts, and ironed them (for his work).

@SOBIAASHAIKH

We have worked hard, and I am proud of that. Yes, I do flaunt it at times, and I do not mean to be insensitive to anyone. But this is my life, I am proud of where we are. It is glamorous a bit, I do travel a bit now that the kids are older. But it is a lot of work…because people want to see new things constantly.

It is almost my own little tv show. Then, there are the paid partnerships, and I put a lot of time into it. There is hair and make-up, the cameras and my lights; and I do it all myself. There are occasions when I do have someone do my make-up if I am going out. Mostly I do it all myself. It is non-stop. What people do not recognize is that yes, it is glamorous it is still a lot of work.

Yes why I think that it is important to share, like waking up in the middle of the night making notes…I mean the struggle is real. Oh my gosh that is so true! You absolutely get it.

Okay my last question, what is your favorite way to start your day…

During the quarantine we got a dog named Maple. He is sitting here next to my feet. Well, he has a bed right next to my bed and around 5:30 a.m., or 6:00 am he jumps onto our bed. He then alternates putting his head on my husbands’ pillow, and then on my pillow. It is honestly the sweetest way to wake-up. He is tiny about 14 pounds, he is hypo allergenic because I have allergies and asthma.

Then he snuggles on my stomach, and he looks for love. It is beautiful, it is unconditional love. Then my husband wakes up earlier than me and goes down to make the best coffee in the world. He will then sometimes bring it up to me, or I will go down to have it. I read the news on my phone, or iPad. I get energized, an then I will work out in the garage. Then the rest of the day just follows!

Yayy that was it…thank you so much for your time, dreams do come true! Oh! You are so sweet and thank you for reaching out to me. No, I think it was like 2012 when I read about you, and I was like she is so cool… I am going to meet her one day. I am so happy that we met, thank you and take care.

SOBIA SHAIKH- LIFESTYLE & CONTENT CREATION

VENECIA- FOUNDER OF VENECIA BEAUTY

ANDRÉS SANDOVAL- ACTOR, PRODUCER, GIVER & HUMAN