I was soooooo excited when Caroline agreed to do the interview with me. Not only is she a total bad-ass but she is so unapologetically herself. In addition to dropping seriously sound advice on her ‘Coffee Talk’ on Instagram, she’s incredibly stylish and her jewelry would make any jewelry lover gawk. I literally couldn’t stop talking. I enjoyed this interview and hope you do!

Happy Monday! We will be conversating with Caroline today. Hi! I am so excited to be sitting and talking with you, and because of that I brought the jewels today. I decided I would not be my minimalist self today.

Oh no, we must be maximalist to the max. I am happy to be here, and always love some female connection.

I am extra excited that you are Latina, and you do not see many Latinas in this space being authentically themselves. Oh, thank you so much…I love it!

You have been vocal about the how, the whys, that you built your brand, Shop with Caroline. So, people may know that they have veered off and lost themselves. But what gave you the courage to do something about it. Was it your friends, your family, or just that innate voice that made you say no I am going to take that first step and do something about it…

You know what is funny, is in that moment four and a half years ago; we all go through this, and we do not know what to call it. But you realize and ask, ‘is this it’? it is like you realize that you are a zombie. You think that you are happy because you are supposed to be happy. But you are not feeling happy. 

That is that weird lost feeling. For me the real turning point of making that decision was when my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and I literally watched my mom fall apart.  It made me take a deeper look, and to take a pause.

This made me reflect. I remembered that feeling and knowing that I never wanted to feel like that – not knowing where anything is, how to do anything, all of these regrets, and focus on the past. Nothing in front of her. Literally no hope.

So, when I looked in the mirror at myself, not recognizing myself, and said ‘what are you doing’? Realizing that staying like this for the rest of my life, looking like my mom. Or just doing whatever that step is to change. To take that first step. For me, it was scarier to not change.

Yes, I am a firm believer in pivoting. It is all about growing and evolving. We grow and it is scary. But I think the reason that you resonate with so many women is that you chose happy. And what happy looks like for you. We have normalized being miserable. Oh! Yes.  

In any situation just because it looks good on paper. I know that I have been guilty of that, if something looks good on paper – you are like I have to be happy.

Why should I not be happy? It is cookie cutter.  Yes, or this is just what everyone else is doing. Yes! I mean you have the perfect boyfriend, maybe it’s you, and maybe you are requesting too much.

Then they promise you everything. Yes! … They dangle this carrot in front of you…I will take care of you; I will make you happy. Then you realize twenty years later that the only person that can take care of you, is you. So, you just got scammed.

Happiness and commitment is what I feel people should focus more on, and that piece of paper is just an extension of that. So, why do you feel so passionate about your message of telling women to wait and to first find themselves?  

I am passionate about that, and if I could scream it from the mountain tops I would. I want to be screaming with a microphone – ‘what is everyone rushing to’? I am like you are rushing to the end for what? I mean I am sweating; menopause sucks and it doesn’t get easier. The end is not fun or happy.

Marriage is like a Ponzi Scheme, because for the most part women do get the shorter end of the stick. At the end of the day, we are promised everything – you are going to be taken care of. But really what they are promising you is that they are going to buy you shit. So, you are thinking oh I can buy whatever I want.

The reality then sets in, and the reality is that life is really quite hard, and it is not about a Chanel bag. It is about who is going to be there when times get hard and tough. The hard and tough is about ninety percent of the time, and you have to figure out your happy in that.

Society tells us that you are happy when you are married with kids. Meanwhile, that has nothing to do with you, your own dreams, and goals; and what makes you a more interesting person.  

We forgot that it is so important for you to be your own person before you get married. That is why you lose yourself. You do not know yourself, or what makes you happy. Then you are thrust into caring for another human being, and your husband. You have to have a foundation.

Women fall into this trap, of oh he is rich so you start to change who you really are. You are kissing ass, not being your authentic self because you are afraid that someone is not going to take care of you. Figure out who you are – travel… find out what makes you happy.

I do believe in happy marriages. Yes, I look at my parents, they legitimately like each other, they are each other’s best friends. They have been married 33 years. That is amazing, and you don’t see that anymore.

We have normalized being unhappy and hating our husbands. At the end of the day, we have forgotten how to get along, and to actually have a foundation of friendship. Wanting to see each other happy and to win. Also, we have normalized being controlled, and not having a voice. So, I am all about having a voice and power before you get married. I am not opposed to marriage, not opposed to kids, they are the greatest love of your life as long as you are happy.

To quote the great Queen B ‘I have to be a complete person before I give myself to someone else’. That is the best thing.

I love your sense of style – cute, sexy, and baggy. When you did Shop with Caroline, and by the way your pieces are phenomenal. Oh, thank you. 

You mix high-end and low-end, that is what I do. This is an Amazon jean shirt; you can find amazing things on Amazon. I have the Amazon Cloud Shoes. Oh! Yes, those are amazing.  Well, I get more compliments on them than my Chanel slides. 

Yeah, I get more questions on Amazon finds than I do on Chanel or any designer.

When you were finding your passion, and when you started Shop with Caroline, there are a lot of people in the space of styling and fashion. If you listened to people they would tell you ‘no, don’t do it it’s  too over saturated’. Then you can start with the negative talk – it is a young woman’s game why should I even start. So, what made you say I am good, I know me, and I want to inspire women. You are inspiring women young and old, so how did you get the confidence to start…

Genuinely, COVID19 was an interesting time for everyone. I started with that one photo in the mirror, it was about the clothes. People were always asking me what I was wearing. It seemed like an obvious and easy thing.

When COVID19 hit and things got quiet, it made us all stop and analyze what is important. I do think that we are starting to forget again. I do believe in that moment there was a bit of self-reflection.

I remembered thinking that if I say it all, no one can say anything. Like when I show my cellulite, you can gossip all you want, I have already shown it and I know. I realized that life is so short, I realized we are not talking, and we need to share more.

I was going through such a hard time with COVID, my parents, my kids. I thought there were so many of us going through a lot, and I felt like I needed to get it off my chest and air it out.  I started talking in the morning.

I do not know what possessed me to tell my entire life story. It was like a journal. Everyone thinks that they know you, and they think they see this perfect picture. I am so not perfect, and I kind of wanted to take the curtain away; and say take it or leave it. I am not going to care anymore.

You have evolved - you have your blog, you morning coffee talk, and now more in-person meet and greets, as well as speaking. So how do you see Shop with Caroline evolving even more, and what do you hope that it evolves into…

My true dream, well it takes me back to that one photo if I had not taken it where would I be now. It shows you that things do evolve, things do pivot, and everyone is so afraid to start. At the end of the day that one start is what leads you. Once you start you can pivot and realize as you evolve what your true passion is.

For me my passion has always been the connection, has always been the community, and it has never been about fashion. I mean fashion I love obviously, but it is really just a happy tool. All the stuff is just tools. What I really love is the connection. To see just one person smile, to just get off their asses to make that change. It is so inspiring to me.

We are working on a book. My dream would be to have a show where we could inspire more people, lift more women up. Encourage women to use their voices, often we are afraid to use our voices.

That is the best thing. Often the message can get lost. You use it as a tool (fashion), you are not saying that everything has to be designer. I mean if you have it fine, wear it. Your tools are more action (instead of just saying it), feel your best, look your best, and your psyche will change.

Yes, it is the action of the effort is what distracts you and gets you going. Of course, yes, throwing on a designer outfit is not going to solve your problems.

I feel like people are so quick to miss the message, because we can be so angry; I think it is important to clarify that your message is to be happy. And whatever that is for you, to put your best foot forward, however you deem that for you.

Yes, I feel like it is such an important point. It is about bringing back that best version of you that is inside of you. Every single woman there has that version of you that was happy, positive, and smiling.

All of us have that one point in life that brought us down. And I know for me looking like shit has never helped me, or motivated me. It doesn’t make me nicer with my kids.

Genuinely, I had forgotten that when you look good you feel good, and when you feel good you do good. It is that simple. When you look in the mirror, that reflection says everything about how you are feeling about yourself.

Imagine when you pass that mirror every morning and you see yourself and you look like shit. And you are saying that to yourself, that is not good. No! that becomes your Mantra. You will be met with more crap. The Universe is saying okay. Instead you are saying shit might be going down, and burning, but what I can control I am controlling.

It is about showing up and making that decision. Because at the end of the day it is never about you being a super model, or wearing designer clothes. It signals your brain that you give a shit about yourself.

It is yourself respect. Again, your oxygen mask on first before you take care of everyone else. So, what is your oxygen mask? Mine is getting ready, my medicine and my fuel is looking good. It puts that pep in myself.

Yes, for me I do my face, it is a natural face, and then my ritual of my coffee, lemon water, and my mediation. It is also about reminding women of their own tools. I am telling them that there is some free shit out there (that you can use) – putting your face in the sun, going for a walk; good conversations; some laughter; you taking the time to putting yourself together. Putting some good music on, positive self-talk, stop looking at everyone else.

Yes, for me it is horseback riding, that is my peace. Oh! I love horseback riding. I rode like four hours this weekend, and you have to be focused and in the present moment.

How do you recharge, and realign…

You know I find that an interesting question because we are listening to people and close friends going through some serious issues now. I think that we all need that sanctuary, those tools, and I know for me it is home. That is where I feel the calmest, and I feel like I recharge.

Recharge for me is literally self-care. I sit outside, listening to the birds, my ten minutes of gratefulness. Even watching a great show, getting a good stretch in, and taking a shower.

I really like quiet; I love my own company. It is really important to like your own company, at the end of the day people need to figure out how to be alone and like to be alone. It is very powerful.

Caroline… thank you so much. I could talk to you forever. Thank you, you are just the best. Love you.

Thank you everyone for being here…..