I am excited to interview a brand new Mommy, and top stylist Allia Al Rufai… good morning!

Yes, good evening to you… First you look absolutely amazing. I love what you are wearing. You are a brand-new Mommy, you are balancing your work, career, and your husband – how do you do it all…

I wish I had the answer to that. I take one step at a time; I go with the flow. Whatever comes my way just one step at a time.

I love your Instagram. It is more like a diary of your journey. You have quotes from Don Miguel Ruiz. How did your journey start, how did you get into styling…

I did not study fashion. To be honest I have a master’s in commerce and decided to put that aside to follow my passion. When I was young, I traveled a lot and I loved watching people (what they wore) from around the world. And that piqued my interest so much. I worked on an internship in a Bollywood movie, and that is how it all started. After that I was with Harper’s Bazaar Magazine, and I was with them for four years; before I started my own company.

How do you think that you have evolved? We all evolve as humans every seven years, so how do you think that you have maintained your career success as well evolving as a person, because no one stays the same…

I think balance is super important, balancing my personal life along with my professional life. You do need that balance to grow. If you don’t grow personally, it is difficult to grow professionally, because you need that balance to be happy. You will have burnout.

I love to learn as well, like you said we change every seven years, it is also about learning. I look at everyday what I can learn, and it can be from anywhere or anybody.

I like to study different subjects also; I always look for short courses that I can take. From a course from Eckart Tolle to Trend Forecasting. I believe to put out all that I have learned, because you also leave room to take in things as well. So, I am always teaching things to the people around me, as well I learn from them too.

I saw on your Instagram, where you discussed that you are of mixed race. I am too, and earlier you said that you always looked around at different people and how they looked, and their fashion. Was it escapism, or to find where you fit in.? For me personally, I never fit in one place. So, I looked to fashion or movies, and picked apart things that reminded me of myself. Did you find that as well growing up, and did it evolve from there…

Yes, I did kind of do that as well. I am from many different backgrounds. My father is Arab, and my mother is Indian. And I could not really associate myself with just one place; and that is why I call myself ‘world citizen’.  Yes! I saw that and I am going to actually steal those words. I say ‘human’, but yours sounds much classier. Ahahaha, okay. So, I kind of like watching people from around the world, and I was lucky that I could be exposed. It always interested me to see how things could work in different parts of the world.

I know that you said earlier that being happy is so important, and I so agree. Because it goes into everything - your personal life, and your career it just stalls. So how have you managed when you are faced with challenging situations, or setbacks. With your philosophy of balance, and being Zen…

I believe on focusing on the present moment, there is really something to this. Most of the time we are worrying about what is going to happen, or what is going to be next. A great way to tackle everything is to tackle what is in front of you presently.

Perspective has a lot to do with it, there are always two ways of looking at a difficult situation. You can look at a situation as how am I going to learn from this, and what am I going to get out of this. Or that I am damned, or I must deal with it. There are two ways of looking at things, and how you perceive a situation to be. Looking at a positive way out of something, because it also gives you strength.

I don’t know if you have read the book, The Four Agreements by John Miguel Ruiz, it has been my go-to since high school. Where he says, you do not take things personally. That is a real thing, but so much easier said than done. When things happen, it has no reflection on me as a human being, it is a situation. And I try to disassociate myself, wherein it is not you, it is a situation.  

Yes, exactly so true. You can’t internalize things, because you don’t know if someone is not having a good day, or if something has happened. And having that empathy it filters down, and I have seen it at work. They might be having a bad day and they will indirectly put it to you. So, like you have said you should not take anything personally.

Yes, I know for me I start my day with a strong coffee, and I meditate. If not, I know that I will answer someone short, and that is not good – but is because I am cranky and not centered. So, I have learned until I am centered, I do not respond to anyone, or look at my phone.

You and your husband, congratulations you guys are a handsome couple, I know that he has his own career, and you travel a lot for your job. So how do you guys’ balance both of your careers…

What is important is to have a mutual respect and that is what we have. We kind of help each other out wherever we can. And it is about balance and understanding like you said. So, it is all about balance, understanding, respect, and of course love; when you have that everything works itself out to be honest.

You are a brand-new Mommy. How has having your daughter, working, what you thought that it would be like, and what adjustments have you had to make? It is not said enough how hard women have it, your daughter is three months, and you are back to work…

Well, to be honest I never like to preconceive anything. I never had an idea, or picture in my mind of how it would be to be a working mom. I thought that I would cross that bridge when I get to it.

So, now I am at that bridge, aahha. I am at the airport alone with my daughter, with my backpack. Oh! Noooo. Ahahahaha.

I am still breastfeeding, so I have my mom, or my nanny there to feed my baby when I am at work. It is a lot of scheduling that is key, and even when you can be thrown off, so it is tiny steps, and the key is to be gentle with yourself.

Oh, yes you are because you look so amazing. I strongly believe that style comes from knowing who you are, and like who you are. You know who you are – as a stylist you know your vibe, what fits your vibe, does that translate to your clients when you work with them, and having a good relationship with them…

Absolutely, that balance is super important. To understand your clients’ sensibility is, and what their personality is, and then to bring that out in the clothes. So, you meet them in the middle, knowing their personality and sharing with them what you think will work for them.

So, it is very much a collaborative effort, it is not just my sensibility that I push onto them. Rather working the other way around. So, yes that is true.

Yes, that is why you have been so successful. Your styles for your clients can almost be like a chameleon. One style can be more daring, and the other more conservative, but still sexy.

Tell us one thing - we all assume a stylists’ career is super glamorous designer things head to toe. So, tell us, it is a glamorous job because of the team, photographers, and designers that you get to work with. What is it that people do not know…

Yes, it is a lot of hard work, long hours. Packing, unpacking, steaming garments. Many crises, last minute calls, and running around. It is a lot of stress with a high-powered job. You have to meet clients’ requirements sometimes at a short notice.

Dealing with demands with short time periods. It is not as glamorous as it seems, it is a lot of hard work that goes into creating the people that we style look beautiful.

How do you stay so centered and balanced, do you do yoga, Pilates? How do you relieve stress…

I like to spend my mornings with what I call my happy hour. We have candles lit at home, even if it is 6:00 a.m. I have my cup of tea, or coffee. We also have beautiful music on, and I spend this time to be by myself.

I refer that time to ‘my time’, if I choose to sit, or reflect, or read a book that is special to me. Sometimes I will sit and meditate for ten minutes.  Now, with the baby, yes … I try.

What have you learned through you journey, something that you never thought that you would have accomplished?  And what are you grateful for…

What I am super grateful for is the growth that I have managed in my life. I have reached a point that I am centered, and I am grateful for that. It is everyday work, I am still trying and doing it. I am happy with the place that I am at. Before I would look at things in a very different way than I would today. So, I feel like every day is a learning experience for me, from the people that I meet. I am grateful for all the little things. I am grateful for today, to have, and to sit here and speak with you. Me too, I am so grateful for that as well.